Writing Concisely: Uproot the Weeds, Let Flowers Bloom
Would you agree that language is elastic? One can convey the same message by using fewer or more words. For example:
During the war in 1942, the U.S. government planned to issue the following blackout order [Note 1]:
“Such preparations shall be made as will completely obscure all Federal buildings and non-Federal buildings occupied by the Federal government during an air raid for any period of time from visibility by reason of internal or external illumination.”
Troubled by its complexity, then-president Franklin D. Roosevelt told his team:
“Tell them that in buildings where they have to keep the work going on to put something across the windows.”
The problem of bloated language is both old and common, for it is not our instinct to be stingy with words. And who knows it better than the professionals working in the biopharma industry?
SOPs and bloated writing
To do their work, biopharma professionals have to read and follow hundreds of Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs). These SOPs are essential for GMP (Good Manufacturing Practice) compliance and are supposed to drive quality. But sadly, SOPs themselves suffer from obesity.
When I conducted a pre-workshop survey among the training participants from a global vaccine manufacturer, 83% complained SOPs were too wordy, and 50% said SOPs were too long. In another survey among the leading pharma companies in Singapore, 82% said SOPs were too wordy, and 59% said that they were too long.
So the problem is widespread, but why is it difficult to be concise? The reason is simple: People who write SOPs are usually the subject matter experts (SMEs). They know a lot, but they also use a lot of words to transfer their knowledge to the SOPs.
The good news is that one can easily acquire the skills to write concisely.
Three steps to writing concisely
Just like the weeds naturally grow in an untended garden, unnecessary words infiltrate into our writing unless we make a conscious effort to avoid them.
Just like the weeds naturally grow in an untended garden, unnecessary words infiltrate into our writing unless we make a conscious effort to avoid them.
If you wish to be concise in your writing, here is a simple 3-step path: 1. Set the intention, 2. Get rid of unnecessary information and words, and 3. Review and repeat.
1. Set the intention
Achieving conciseness is like decluttering our home; it happens only when we first set our intention to live in spacious surroundings. Can you step into the shoes of your readers and make a commitment to not burden them with unnecessary words? Are you willing to put in extra time and effort to save your readers’ time and effort?
When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing.
Enrique Jardiel Poncela
Once the intention is set, it’s time to take out the knives.
2. Get rid of unnecessary information and words
Concise writing results from a ruthless culling operation.
2.1 Eliminate unnecessary information
Instead of worrying about language skills, the first step is to hack away the unnecessary content itself. It’s akin to eliminating the extra stuff from a jam-packed suitcase when you realize it weighs 32 kg whereas your flight ticket allows only 20 kg.
Whenever you’re ready with the first draft of an SOP (or any document), be ready to shrink it by at least 30-40%. It’s about getting to the gist while removing the fluff.
You do not have to explain every single drop of water contained in a rain barrel. You have to explain one drop—H2O. The reader will get it.
George Singleton
Here is an example to show how one can identify the gist and get rid of the rest.
- Original: During routine use of the freezer, i.e., opening of the freezer to retrieve or store materials, it is necessary to perform a visual check for the signs of frost at door seals as it might interfere with the proper closure of the door. If it is observed that the door seal areas are covered with frost, remove the frost physically by de-frosting.
- Revised: During routine use of the freezer, check for frost at the door seals. If found, remove the frost physically by de-frosting.
If you relentlessly examine every section and paragraph of your draft with “What’s the core message?” you’ll automatically see what’s not. Get rid of that.
2.2 Eliminate unnecessary words
Next, beyond the gist, go for micro-level pruning by attacking the phrases that look normal but do not add any value to the message. Here are a few examples of these unwanted guests in writing:
- It is important to note
- It is recommended
- Be aware of the fact
- …duration of
- It should be pointed out
- Kindly be advised
- Take note…
As you can see from the following example, the meaning doesn’t change one iota when you get rid of these useless phrases.
- Original: Prior to wetting the filter, it is recommended to start with a dry filter for even wetting of the membrane.
- Revised: Prior to wetting the filter, start with a dry filter for even wetting of the membrane.
Of the two sub-steps above (2.1 and 2.2), which one is more impactful for long documents like SOPs? Obviously, 2.1: Getting rid of unnecessary information.
Next, take a break and come back with the knife.
3. Review and repeat
Unfortunately, achieving conciseness is not a one-shot but an iterative exercise. Just like one can’t eliminate all the impurities from muddy water without filtering it through a series of progressively finer filters, refinement in writing requires a couple of repetitions of step 2. How many? That depends on the length and complexity of the document you’re working on.
Of the three steps above (intention, elimination, repetition), which one is the most important? Well, the first one! Without an intent, nothing happens.
You won’t believe it, but by now you’ve read close to 1000 words. That’s already too many but still reasonable compared to the original draft–1800 words. Language is elastic; I am sure it could have been shorter and tighter.
Note 1: This example comes from the classic book on writing “On Writing Well” by William Zinsser.